Archive for April, 2013|Monthly archive page

Go to bed!

In Life on April 26, 2013 at 5:06 AM

As I lie here at 4AM, I must admit that Obama not sleepy in the least. I must also confess that I’m not a person who sleeps at night; I am a night owl. I guess what I’m asking for is a remedy to help sleep.

I’m not an insomniac, at least I don’t think that I am.l, but I’m not able to sleep. I’m willing to bet that one cause is that, while living in Utah, I had to stay up late into the night to make sure that the next door neighbour didn’t break in and steal anything. He never did. In two years of living there, my neighbour (and friend, mind you) NEVER broke into the house…have I mentioned that the person I was sent to take care of had dementia? Another reason for the late nights, I’m sure, is the fact that I love coffee; drink it all day and night, and have been since I was 6 years old, and at almost 25, caffeine does nothing for me. My mother has been drinking it since she was 6….weeks old (not joking here!), and she can have a cup and go rright to bed, same with my father.

As far as I know, I’ve always been a night a owl. Mom says that even in the womb, I would be active after 10 PM, when she would try and wind down for the day. None of my siblings are night owls, so I kinda feel like an outcast in that regard.

I always said that “when I get a morning job, ill have a reason to get up in the morning, and go to bed at night.” Well, I have two jobs that require me to be up and out of the hhouse before 10, and I still find myself up until sunrise. I do a fantastic job on little to no sleep, mind you… but I’m still dragging my feet as soon as I’m done. Naps are of no help, but let’s face it, naps are a gift from nature; its Mother Nature’s way of saying “your day sucked, have a great nap”. I try not to have a nap, but when you work a manual labour job on little to know sleep, you close your eyes for a second, and you’re gone!

If you have any remedies, feel free to leave a comment, and let me know. Thanks!

Random thoughts in the tub

In thought on April 23, 2013 at 1:33 AM

As I sit here relaxing in the cool waters of the bathtub after a hard day’s work, I thought that I would share some random thoughts with you fine readers.

As many of you may know, and do yourselves,  if you check behind the shower curtain for killers, what, exactly are you going to if you find one? I guess that since you are in the bathroom already, having the “crap” scared out of you wouldn’t really matter, no?

Another idea that I’ve had was how cool it would be to have have a bathtub as a bed. I quickly disbanded those thoughts because I remembered what one does in the tub. Sleep and water do not mix…..!

If all household eater is recycled, then just think…you are bathing and drinking dinosaur pee! Just remember that next time you pee in the river!

No matter what, BATHROOM WATER IS BEYOND GROSS! Only drink kitchen water.

The modern toilet design is only slightly varied from its original invention; the original had a straight pipe connection from the toilet to the underground, whereas the ones we have now use an ‘S’ curve to stop sewer smells from coming back and into the house. Of course, this only works if you close the darn lid!

Another random thought is that I wonder how many humans are enjoying a bathtub soak right now and of that number, how many are currently engaged with using their phone. I can already count one!

Well, I think that I will end it here for the night.

Fun for the whole family!

In annoyances on April 22, 2013 at 2:00 AM

As I type this, I am currently sucked in to a Marathon of Duck Dynasty. Normally, I shy away from “reality” TV, but I love that show!

I enjoy the fact that in four hours of watching it, I’ve not heard one *bleep* during the show. That can be either the fact that they don’t swear in life, or they don’t do it on camera. Either way, it is a great show that the entire family can gather ’round the telly and enjoy.

From Si and his crazy old man rants, to Phil’s overt masculinity to the boys’ good natured fun, this is a show that I wish I had discovered sooner, or at the very least, given a chance when it debuted a year or more ago!

The family reminds me of mine, in the fact that you have a crazy uncle, a few brothers and some parents always trying to hold them all together.

Recently, some jack-wagon on YouTube posted a video online claiming he had “proof” that the show was fake. I had to watch the video, and see for myself. In the video, he claims that the company isn’t really fun by the for guys that are featured on the show, due to the fact that the warehouse is full and they never show them getting any work done. Here’s why its a waste: OF COURSE THEY HAVE A TEAM OF WORKERS TO BUILD THE DUCK CALLS! Just because you don’t see it, does that make it fake? You don’t see tthe sunrise every morning, but we know that’s real. He also said that in one episode Si has a half empty glass of tea in one shot, and then it’s full in the next. Si has stated that in one episode (the episode where Willie has to go shopping with his daughter, to be exact) he ALWAYS keeps his tea jug handy. Just find an episode where he doesn’t carry the foolish thing around… The final claim this joker makes is that the beards and hair are fake. He said that one brother doesn’t have long hair or a beard, then the rrest of the family’s must be faked. Well, for starters, my brother doesn’t have a beard, so does that make mine fake? Some people just find it easier to shave everyday and not have the extra fur on their face. I think this cat was just bored, or looking for attention when he posted this video. Heck, maybe it was a combination of the two?

Either way you look at it, it is a very enjoyable programme and I hope that A&E keeps making them. I would like to thank the company for allowing me to enjoy their program and restoring some of my faith in humanity.

A lesson in manliness

In Life, pipe on April 11, 2013 at 7:03 AM

I have toyed with this for a while. As men, we do manly things; eat, love, drink, burp; all manly things. What I have an issue with is shaving. Don’t get me wrong, I like to lather up with my “grandpa shave kit” and even have a razor that pre-dates WW2, but recently I have decided to grow a beard…again. I had one before, but shaved it, and immediately regretted it!

My reason was sound: why fight nature? It’s natural for men to have facial hair, it’s natural to want to take sharp objects to our face. What’s not natural is for women to have facial hair. Why? Because the universe created women with pretty faces. If you don’t believe me, look up Kate Upton…after you get done staring at her, come back and finish this.

I come from a VERY hairy background. My father looked like someone put pants and glasses on Chewbacca, plus I’m Irish and a redneck, so I’m covered in the hair department…no pun intended.

There’s several reasons to grow a beard. Mine being that its natural to have facial hair, and why fight it? Yours may be a religious reason, or you have suffered some trauma and want to hide it. Whatever your reasons are they are yours, and I wont pry. There are also reasons not to grow a beard, such as you’re a woman, and have a knockout face that needs to be hair free. Maybe your boss has a strict no facial hair policy because he had a bad experience with beards…maybe you don’t need to be working for that company…

Just think of the advantages of growing a beard: you can save money on your water bill, you can save water (men will use 1000 gallons of water shaving in a lifetime), you get to spend less time working on the shave, and a better time with your women, you’ll look older, if that’s your thing, more people will think you’re sophisticated and smart, and it looks better smoking a pipe! What’s not to like?

Great men throughout history have had beards. Men like any lumberjack, construction workers, Sigmund Freud had a beard that was grown to piss off his mom…maybe, I don’t have any proof of that…The military has beards, and frankly, who’s more bade ass than a team of special forces dudes? The men of A&E’s hit Duck Dynasty have them, and what’s more fun than a redneck?

You can join the club simply by NOT SHAVING! Never has a club been easier to join!

There are really only a handful of “rules” when growing a beard, but seem to vary by the person. One rule that I adhere to is that your beard MUST stop just above, or level with the Adam’s Apple. Also your cheeks should stop and be level with the spot where your sideburns start to flair out, otherwise you’ll run the risk of being unkempt and/or homeless. Everything else, from length, to thickness really depends on you and how your beard grows. If it grows thick naturally, don’t fight it. If its thin and patchy, then keep it trimmed.

Thanks for reading, and feel free to post your own advice and tips in the comments section.

I am a Mad Man

In Uncategorized on April 7, 2013 at 5:31 AM

Well, its almost here! The season premiere of Mad Men. I am both happy and depressed by this; happy because one of my favourite programmes is coning back, but saddened because Paul Kinsey and Peggy Olsen aren’t returning. Paul left when the guys split to form their own company, and Peggy left because Don didn’t respect her. I admired Paul because there was a fellow pipe smoker on television, and I thought Elisabeth Moss was cute, and she just fit the show so perfectly!

When I first started the show, I thought that it was decent, but didn’t expect it to be a major hit for the network, nor did I expect it to win just about every award that it is nominated for. I have since grown to enjoy the programme. The thing that troubles me most is that they bring Paul back as some Buddhist monk-type with a ponytail that starts at the back of his skull, and they write him off just as quickly! What the heck, man! I know that they cut him because of budget issues (there was a major story about it, hence why almost every week they cut players or relegated them to guest stars) and his character didn’t have chemistry with Don, but I would love to see him in the coming season.

They let Peggy go, and I can only hope that she will return somewhere, even if she winds up humping Don at some point. They brought back Ken Cosgrove, just to piss off Pete, but no one calls Salvatore? I get that in the show he was stymied by the fact that by the mid sixties the ad companies where going to cheaper and easier photography for their ads, thus killing the art department, but I always felt that he and the other seconds had great chemistry, but what do I know, I’m just a fan.

I’m hoping that this season will continue to piss me off by not having that pretentious d-bag Paul (whom I loved, if you remember)!


In Baseball on April 3, 2013 at 2:46 AM

Spring is here, and for many of us, it means the return of America’s past time, baseball.

I grew up a fan of the Minnesota Twins, much to my Red Sox loving father’s chagrin. I would root for the Yankees just to hear him yell “SHUT UP!” at the top of his lungs. I still recall the final World Series that he and I watched. Well, I watched it as he heckled the Yankees’ playing.

Last season was a chore to watch for us Twins fans. We watched the managerial staff fight amongst themselves as they decided where to put Joe Mauer, and the concussion that plagued Justin Morneau, noir to mention the horrible pitching staff that the Twins had…why they let go of Joe Nathan, I will never know! But now it seems as though Mauer is staying behind the bag, Morneau is healed and the picltching staff is doing better, not great, but better; they can still get Nathan back… but at this point in time, it seems wishful thinking.

I hope that this year will bring better tidings in the twin cities. If their spring training games where any indication, then maybe we will struggle, but have a decent year?

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