jamestkirk2282

A lesson in manliness

In Life, pipe on April 11, 2013 at 7:03 AM

I have toyed with this for a while. As men, we do manly things; eat, love, drink, burp; all manly things. What I have an issue with is shaving. Don’t get me wrong, I like to lather up with my “grandpa shave kit” and even have a razor that pre-dates WW2, but recently I have decided to grow a beard…again. I had one before, but shaved it, and immediately regretted it!

My reason was sound: why fight nature? It’s natural for men to have facial hair, it’s natural to want to take sharp objects to our face. What’s not natural is for women to have facial hair. Why? Because the universe created women with pretty faces. If you don’t believe me, look up Kate Upton…after you get done staring at her, come back and finish this.

I come from a VERY hairy background. My father looked like someone put pants and glasses on Chewbacca, plus I’m Irish and a redneck, so I’m covered in the hair department…no pun intended.

There’s several reasons to grow a beard. Mine being that its natural to have facial hair, and why fight it? Yours may be a religious reason, or you have suffered some trauma and want to hide it. Whatever your reasons are they are yours, and I wont pry. There are also reasons not to grow a beard, such as you’re a woman, and have a knockout face that needs to be hair free. Maybe your boss has a strict no facial hair policy because he had a bad experience with beards…maybe you don’t need to be working for that company…

Just think of the advantages of growing a beard: you can save money on your water bill, you can save water (men will use 1000 gallons of water shaving in a lifetime), you get to spend less time working on the shave, and a better time with your women, you’ll look older, if that’s your thing, more people will think you’re sophisticated and smart, and it looks better smoking a pipe! What’s not to like?

Great men throughout history have had beards. Men like any lumberjack, construction workers, Sigmund Freud had a beard that was grown to piss off his mom…maybe, I don’t have any proof of that…The military has beards, and frankly, who’s more bade ass than a team of special forces dudes? The men of A&E’s hit Duck Dynasty have them, and what’s more fun than a redneck?

You can join the club simply by NOT SHAVING! Never has a club been easier to join!

There are really only a handful of “rules” when growing a beard, but seem to vary by the person. One rule that I adhere to is that your beard MUST stop just above, or level with the Adam’s Apple. Also your cheeks should stop and be level with the spot where your sideburns start to flair out, otherwise you’ll run the risk of being unkempt and/or homeless. Everything else, from length, to thickness really depends on you and how your beard grows. If it grows thick naturally, don’t fight it. If its thin and patchy, then keep it trimmed.

Thanks for reading, and feel free to post your own advice and tips in the comments section.

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  1. I agree, beards are awesome 😀
    And if I, as a woman, could grow a beard.. well, it would certainly be a tempting thing 😉

    (Now that’s a lovely image to leave on your post xD)

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