Archive for May, 2013|Monthly archive page


In Childhood on May 31, 2013 at 5:46 AM

For some time now, I’ve been asked why I haven’t said anything about mama. Well, I’ve blogged about my other family members, and since I do love mama, this blog will be all about her.

Where do I begin? Well, my mama is a sweet lady, always with a smile and something to eat…did I mention that she is a southern girl? My fondest memory of mama is when we where little, and we would walk everywhere together. Just her and me, chatting all the way there, and laughing all the way home; it made the walk shorter.

Her and daddy where married for thirty years, up until his death a few short years ago. They loved each other every day of their marriage, and mama still loves him.

I got in trouble a lot as a kid, so growing up, my one real fear was of that damned wooden spoon! She would tan my hide with it, but…oddly enough, not that often… It’s a trait that I believe ALL southern mamas have…that and wet hands! Even though she had to dole out punishments, we knew then, as well as now, that she loves us. Hell, just yesterday she baked me a cake. An entire cake just for me! Of course, I show my love for mama, as well. Im always there if she needs me, and I carried her bed home on my back, so…..

My mother has always been there for us, always with a bit of advice, or “Yens hungry?” To every person that comes over. Us kids never went hungry growing up, even if she had to to make sure we kids and daddy had fuel for school and work.

When I went to Utah for a while it tore her up. we talked on the phone, and online every night, but I could tell she was broken up by not having her baby boy there in person. When I got home, she was happier than a puppy chewing Jell-o! The first thing she said to me was “There’s some ramen in the cupboard, help yourself, hon.” Needless to say, I, too was overjoyed to see mama and have her cooking again. A year and a half of not having her home cooking really gets a boy down!

When I was recovering from unknowingly eating something cooked with fish, I could tell that mama was happy to take care of her baby boy. As some of you may know, I am not an only child, but both of my siblings have families of their own to care for, and since I don’t, and the economy is not great, I’m home, and happy to help take care of mama, and her taking care of me.

I love you, mom

I sell propane and and propaba accessories

In Uncategorized on May 29, 2013 at 4:12 AM

As I finish an episode of King of the Hill, I decided to vent a few questions that I have, and share my thoughts on the series.

When it debuted, it was different than what Fox had with The Simpsons and Family Guy, as it was family oriented, and wasn’t “blue”. It had comedy, but also had life lessons that everyone could relate to. It had just about zero drama, aside from the propane explosion at the Mega-Lo-Mart, that is.

Hank was the assistant manager for Strickland Propane, which for today, is a lost art; everyone has to have a fancy job and and car, Hank had two trucks in the series’ run. Just two. Bobby was the typical teen, didn’t want to partake in sports, good at video games, great at getting his dad to say “That bout ain’t right”. Peggy was the misguided wife, who tried to price she knew enduring, despite being wrong on just about everything except Boggle. The crazy neighbor was played by Dale Gribble, and who amongst us can say honestly that they have never known a crazy neighbor? Kahn was the Asian who hated living next to rednecks, but tried making the best of it. Bill was the neighbor who, despite all of Hank’s trying, just couldn’t do much for himself. Boomhouer was a mystery…at least until the final episode, that is. The program even had the crazy, stuck in his ways grandpa, played by Cotton, the WWII vet.

I remember when the show premiered. It was a boring Sunday night. My family was prospering for the next work and school week. The programme started with Bobby playing softball and getting beaned in the head. That was the best part of any cartoon I have ever seen! When the introduced Kahn to the neighbours, I was howling with laughter when Bill kept asking “So are are you Chinese, or Japanese?” despite being told Kahn was Laotion. It’s a tad racist, but funny. The way Hank introduces himself as “Hank Hill, assistant manager, Strickland Propane” was the highlight of my week.

Hell, out was the only show too make grandpa dying hilarious. When Cotton died, I laughed so hard…he thought the chef of the Japanese restaurant was trying to cut him, so he jumped onto the stove, melted shoes and all, and asked Bobby, “Are they going to have too take my knees, boy?” That was funny!

I also have a few complaints about the show. Such as, ever notice how the calender never changes, yet the show takes place in all times of the year? Also, how does Luanne age from 17 to 21, yet Bobby only ages from 12 to 13? The show was on for at least a decade…you think the lad would’ve at least gotten to age 14 in that time span! If Dale was convinced that the government was watching him, how did he not know that Boomhouer was a Texas Ranger? You think that most guys like him would know that, right? Before they explored Peggy and her background, she was born and raised in Texas, but they changed that to being the daughter of a harsh Montana rancher without explaining it; they did the old sweep it under the rug thing that Hollywood is famous for, I guess. They did explore the relationship of Kahn and Minh, but briefly. If memory serves, Kahn was a treble in the eyes of Minh’s father, but she loved him, and after The General realized it, he was ok with it…but they never have much thought to the second, our third tiered characters; Bill fell in love with Kahn’s mother, which upset Kahn naturally… Anyone remember even the guys built Kahn’s swimming pool? They never seemed to mention that again, not did they explain what happened to GH after Cotton died. Did he and Debby move in with family or what? I need closure, here!
Peggy was the time substitute teacher of the year, until she went to work for the paper. They never explained if she kept her teaching license or not, either.

Did Bobby finally become a prop comic, like he wanted? How did Boomhouer find time to be a Texas Ranger if he was always chasing trail? For that matter, did Dale ever make enough to live on as an exterminator? We ask know it was a matter of time before Nancy left him for John Redcorn, right?

Anyway, that is my post about King of the Hill, I hope you enjoyed it. If you know anyone who has power in the entertainment world, convince them top make a movie about this show, the world needs it!

A rite of passage

In Movies on May 26, 2013 at 11:00 PM

As boys grow and become men, there are certain rites that they partake in. For some, the act of getting a license to drive, or shooting an animal is that rite. For me and my dad, that, passage was George Lucas’ Star Wars.

One night some twenty odd years ago, my dad asked a five year old me if I wanted to watch a movie with space aliens, robots, and light-swords; what five year old would say no to that? I could read, but not very well, so my dad read the opening crawl to me. Once I saw the Star Destroyer shooting at Princess Leia’s ship, like most kids who saw it in the theaters, I wad hooked! When Vader came abord and demanded the plans, well he was gravy! My mother was sure that he would give me nightmares, but I was facinated! Seeing the Lightsaber for the first time in Ben’s hand and then watching the Death Star explode, I was wishing that,i could fly,an X-Wing just like Luke. As I grew up, however I fell out with the franchise. The merchandise grew while my love dwindled. My dad always held out hope, despite my telling him that it was never going to happen. Hey, I was thirteen, and I wanted to watch girls, ok.

Fast forward a few years, and Episode One came back. I watched it, but was disinterested in it. I saw The Clone Wars, with the same result. My father passed away, and mama asked if I wanted the Star Wars movies just because of my dad. I said sure, with the intent to keep them, but never watch them. Well, one night while facing boredom, I decided that it would be a good idea to see how Darth Vader was created. I reached over to grab my copy of Revenge of the Sith, and by the end I was in awe again, and wishing that I had one more day, just to watch this my dad. I went back and watched the series in order from The Phantom Menace to Return of the Jedi, all in one week! Needless to say, I was hooked!

I decided to pass this rite down to my nephew, as I have no kids. He loves the games because he gets to electrocute the bad guys, and use his Lightsaber to cut them down. Like most five year olds, he loves Darth Vader, why, I do nit know, but so did I at his age! He loves playing Angry Birds Star Wars, and I was going to let him watch his first Star Wars movie. He. Fell. Asleep. Before the end of the credits! The. Beginning. Crawl! Fear not, as I will be trying again in the future!

Well, I must admit that I was pleased with the Clone Wars TV series, even if other people thought that it was dumb. I enjoyed it, but everyone’s different. I was not pleased with the news that Disney, the most evil company on the planet bought the company for a few billion dollars. I blogged about it, if you recall… And u was even more displeased when they announced that due to the new movies coming out, they where canceling the Clone Wars series. The least they could do is end the Maul and Kenobi line, but noooooooo! Disney wants to put out three new movies and then stand alone movies for the next hundred years! I am excited that new movies will be made, yet I am not as happy as I was when the world thought that Episode 3 was it. I hope that Disney can, and will do the films right. I hope that the films released by Marvel (another Disney company) are the mark.

May The Force be with you, dear readers

Have some warm milk?

In annoyances on May 26, 2013 at 7:06 AM

As I lay here at close to six o’clock, it is yet another sleepless night. Some readers of mine may remember the blog where I discussed the problem that I have where I cannot sleep most nights. I have been offered several tips, some more helpful than others, but yet again I am facing the sunrise and asking myself why.

One of the tips that I received was to cut out caffene all together; that just ain’t gonna happen. See, I’ve been drinking coffee since I was a boy, and it has little effect on keeping me up. I drink it when I am awake, because it gets me awake, but it doesn’t keep me up. Even when I have been working all day, coffee is no match.

One other tip was to sleep in a quiet room. No TV, radio, or light. Just my comfy bed, and blanket. Well, I have a dog so the quiet thing goes out the window. Some have said that excitement for the coming day is what is keeping me up. Well, mist days are boring, as I maintain a schedule of sorts. Work, home, pickup my aunt from work, home. Very rarely is there any so-called “excitement” in the pending day. My mother recalls even while I was in the womb, I was active when she tried to sleep. I have accepted this as fact. I am not trying to change this, as there is no use it.

In the past, I have tried counting sheep, but my ADD kicks in, and instead if counting farm animals, I think of all the things that I should’ve done in that day, or will do in the future. I have a soft bed and pillows, so getting comfortable is not the issue. What I think the issue is, however, is the fact that as a child I wrestled with my brother, played football, rode a skateboard, and played many “street” variations of pro sports, so my knees and back aren’t the best. I do not believe in medication for your ailments, but I have considered taking some form of sleep aid. Hell, if it helps, right? If I could afford it, I would invest in a white noise machine, but after a while, I would get tired of the buzzing noise and want to shut it off!

One fellow suggested that the nature of my sleeplessness stems from my “adicition” of tobacco. I have read some writings on the subject, and one side effect (aside from cancer) is sleeplessness because your body is craving the niccotene; that one holds a bit of water, but I am not a slave, so to speak, to tobacco. I would try the warm milk as the title suggests, but I don’t have any. A friend if my mother’s suggested repeting a single digit number, such as 2, until I fall asleep; see above for the entry about counting sheep…

I truly envy the guys who can sleep anywhere and anytime, for the simple fact that they posess the ability to sleep!

Well, I am starting to the Sandman’s embrace, so I will attempt this sleeping thing again. If you have any suggetions for me on the topic of sleep, PLEASE, I beg of you to PLEASE comment and share them! Thank you


In Movies on May 24, 2013 at 5:22 AM

What is up with the latest Bond franchises? It would appear as though MGM, the studio responsible for the 007 movies has lost their way. As I watch the movies, I am no longer in awe of the action, nor am I excited to see the action unfold. I am, however in live with the beautiful Bond Girls, but recently, story wise, its been….less than stellar. For one, I get that the new set are prequel films that set up the story leading to Dr. No. What I don’t get is how M is a female, when Dame Judy Dench didn’t become M until after Bernard Goldberg died, just before Goldeneye was produced. How can she be the first, and last M? That’s just physically impossible, unless Daniel Craig is going to remake all of the previous films…….

Odd Job was the greatest villain simply because if that bowler with the razor edged brim. I wanted that hat since since I wad ten, and still want to cut the heads from statues, despite what they claimed on Mythbusters. Goldfinger was a fantastic movie, and a great story.

Speaking of story, it seems as though the Bond films have decided to blow their budgets on car chases and explosions, rather than plot or storyline. Goldeneye was the final, plot driven movie in the franchise, or so it would appear to me.

Olga (I can’t spell her last name) did a great job as the latest Bond Girl; well she fit the mold anyhow. Beautiful, exotic, tall, thin…etc…. I do enjoy the puns in the previous films. Puns such as Pussy Galore, Plenty O’Toole Xena Onnatopp, and so forth…Xena being my favourite!

The cars are of course top of the line British sports cars, just decked out with machine guns and rocket launchers and other gadgets that make it nowhere near street legal in any country, but then again, being a 00 Agent with a License To Kill is not exactly legal, either…

When they decided to go with a blond actor named Daniel Craig, people complained. They said “A blond Bond? Please!” He apparently did a fantastic job, otherwise MGM wouldn’t have banked the franchise on him. When they made him switch from his shaken, not stirred martini to a beer, people complained…but Heineken made a jillion dollars from advertising, so the fans just have to stick with it, I suppose. I for one, didn’t complain, mainly because I haven’t cared to watch a Bond film since I lost interest after The World is Not Enough. That movie was enough to turn me off of Bond all together. Not to mention the tie-in video game was a waste, but I digress.

Bond still has the potential to be great, even if they have scrapped the idea of humanizing him like they did in On Her Majesty’s Royal Service. That one saw George Lazenby as Bond in his only 007 film, and he took a wife. Sure he was offered money, but he turned down the money and MARRIED FOR LOVE! When she was killed, Bond actually allowed himself a tear! That was the only “human” movie and moment our 00 Agent ever had. Why people hated that film, I will never know. Hell, Moonraker sucked eggs, and people loved Roger Moore? I lost interest in that movie when every creature in one scene did a double take! My father said that in the book, Moonraker had nothing to do with Space, but seeing as Star Wars made a tonne of money…..every movie in that year HAD TO have a space theme…..not to mention, the second greatest Bond villain, Jaws found love and spoke…what the hell, man? Great villains don’t need love and certainly don’t need to speak! Thank God Odd Job just grunted!

Ever notice how each movie in a franchise needs more baddies than the previous film? TWINE had Zukouzsky (or however you spell it), Sophie Marceau’s character, the thug with the gol?den teeth….. Goldeneye had Xena, Alec, Ouromouv, and once again, Zoukovzky. A little much, but Natalia made up for it… Goldfinger had Pussy Galore, Goldfinger (duh) and the aforementioned Odd Job. I can’t reneger which, but one of the Bond films had a villain named Tee-hee. Not complaining, but I do enjoy the name!

The stunts are also a bit much now. Hell Roger Moore jumped over several gators to escape, where Sean Connery just shot, or fought his way out. I believe it was Tomorrow Never Dies that saw Bond and his soon to be suitor jump a motorcycle in to a window. Who thinks of these things? I for one, liked the jet ski that was in one film.

The merchandising is also lacking. It seems that EA, in their bid to ruin video games have decided to make Bond Games just to rake in the money. Rogue Agent, Agent Under Fire, Nightlife, all terrible games. Goldeneye was the last great Bond game. I’m sure that whatever Craig’s third 00 movie will be will have a video game tie-in, and I’m equally, if not moreso sure that it will suck.

Now on to actors that have portrayed our loveable, killing, fighting, womanizer. Sean Connery left because he felt he was being typecast. Well, MGM gave him a lot of money and they remade Thunderball, and called it Never Say Never. I have already talked about Geroge Lazenby, but he gets another shoutout because it’s my blog, and I can do that. Roger Moore left after a handful of awful movies because he felt that he was too old to play the character. Timothy Dalton played 007 in a few decent movies in the later half of the 80’s or early 90’s. When he left, they found Pierce Brosnon, who in my opinion was the last good actor to play the role. As I have mentioned, I haven’t watched them after TWINE, so I cannot say yay or nay on Daniel Craig, but I do like a man who drinks his Heineken. Hopefully it’s neither shaken, nor stirred!

The two actors who made up the Q Division where both great. John Clease and Desmond Llewellyn where great and Q and R respectively, but none will replace Jack Wade, the CIA agent who helped Bond while in Cuba in Goldeneye. He was funny, and he had the oppertunity to drive Bond’s decked out Aston Martin!

I hope that someone at MGM will see this blog and make a GOOD bond film again. They have the talent pool of all of Hollywood to choose from. I’m sure that SOMEONE there can think of a good, plot driven, yet action and gadget packed story for 007 to get into…..right? Hell, hire some animators and make a comouter-generated Bond film for all I care, just make it ggood and entertaining!

TV shows

In TV Shows on May 22, 2013 at 3:24 AM

As I lay here in bed, I’m reminded of my childhood, and his great it was. Not all if it was great, but we had each other…and great TV shows!

When I was a kid, if you diet watch Pokemon, you where not cool. No Pokemon cards, no friends. “Who’s Charizard?” You asked, and a friendless elementary school you went to! Yu-gi-oh! was next, but ivwas in homeschooling then, so I already had no friends….. I missed growing up in the 80’s, so I didn’t have the pleasure of watching new episodes of G.I. JOE, but luckily for me, there exists a technology called DVD.

Now a days we have Spongebob…I actually enjoy that one… One show I enjoy watching, but never figured out is The Suite Life on Deck. His did Mr. Tipton get approval to put a school on a cruise ship with maybe eight kids? For that matter, how did they manage not to get it taken captive by pirates? They went to exotic locations all the time, and God knows London was dumber than a sack of squirrel poo! She could’ve eaisly given the ship to them in a heartbeat. On that note, should Mr. Tipton pay a ransom for his daughter’s return……?

I also cannot grasp the concept of Family Guy and American Dad being on the air this long. When they started, they where right out of the gate funny. Stewie was a criminal mastermind who wanted to kill his mother, despite him needing her for survival. Brian was the voice of reason on the show, which always hung around Peter and often got him out of the trouble he git himself into. Now Stewie is gay (nothing wrong with that) Brian is a Liberal dick and everyone is dumb, and the show hasn’t been funny in years…about the only thing that is still true to the origins is everyone hates Meg. I never thought that American Dad was hilarious, but it had a few funny moments (“Sweet Sean Hannity!” springs to mind), despite it being a VERY thinly veiled attempt at Seth MacFarlan making fun of conservative Republicans. The Cleveland Show is another one of his formulated shows that takes a dopey dad, smart wife, kid nobody likes, a weird/unusual pet/neighbour and puts them in wacky situations. Don’t believe me? Just watch an episode of any show, and substitute one for another, after a while you can’t tell the difference…

One other thing about TV that I can’t understand is why Fox cancelled King of the Hill twice. Lord knows that it was the only saving grace that network has. For me, it was more of a lifestyle program than a cartoon. You had Hank who wanted his boy to grow up proper, a bunch of oddball friends who would’ve died long ago if not for him, and what I remember most, a strong sense of right and wrong, that no man, woman, or idiot neighbour could shake! I admire that in a person, real or not!

The Simpsons. It is another Fox fox formula show that is written by left-wing idiots who take a small piece of note and stretch it into a preachy message episode of smut. When it came on 25 years ago, it was great. My whole family would crowd around the TV Sunday nights and watch it. The next day saw every school kid saying “D’oh!” when we made a mistake and enjoying the laughter of our classmates. Now, I know that after 25 years and a ton of changes in the laws of TV that you can’t have Bart being the schoolyard smarm that he was in the beginning, but is it too much to ask the show not be so preachy and boring? I think not!

Malcolm in the Middle was another show that we watched because in those days we didn’t have cable. I never got it, mainly because I had one brother and was the baby of the litter, and never understood their version of the family life?

I did enjoy the X-Files, even if I had to be in bed before it started…sorry, mom…..

Nowadays kids have somewhat educational programming. Dora does teach kids Spanish, and living in California, you seem to need it. Not being a racist, just pointing it out…

TV shows need more family-centered programming like King of the Hill, or even some other such programming. Hell, give me an episode of the Muppet Babies, for Fozzy’s sake!

Of course we have people who think that TV is ruining the family values, but if you didn’t plop your kid in front of the idiot box, and spent more time talking to them, maybe you wouldn’t have them running the streets… Just saying.

Thank you for reading, and feel free to share your own ideas in the comments box.

The New Yankee Workshop

In Uncategorized on May 20, 2013 at 9:36 PM

As a child, I used to watch The New Yankee Workshop with my dad. It was on Saturday afternoon, around one, and we would sit in the couch and watch as Norm Abram would build the items that every man should have in his workshop. Neither my father nor I had the tools, space, out even the desire to recreate the items being built (even though we could get the measure drawing from their website…) but we would watch him build everything he needed, including a jig for whatever cut he happened to make…he seemed to have a jig for Egbert cut known to man…

Recently, I started watching his program again and got to wondering a few things… First on that list is did he ever make mistakes, and if so, are they available to the public, our sites PBS keep them locked in a vault? Second, did he build everything himself, or where interns just out of camera that helped him? Was that his own workshop on his land, or was that something studio hands crafted for him to use? What lumberyard did he use, our did he cut the tree himself? (I’m picturing Norm out there with a custom made jig as I you’re this, and it’s making people look at me funny)

Whatever his methods, they worked like nobody’s business… Did Norm keep the furniture he made inn the shop, our did he give it away, or destroy it to reuse the lumbah (as he and my father would say)? And his safety glasses had to be custom made to fit his prescription, or did he just always have them on?

Well, those are just a few thoughts on The New Yankee Workshop, maybe I’m the future I will post a blog about This Old House and/or its spinoff Ask This Old House. Just remember, read, understand, and follow all safety warnings on your power tools, and there is no more important safety feature than these, safety glasses

Time travel?

In possibilities on May 17, 2013 at 12:18 AM

As I sit here watching Bill and Ted, I was thinking about the possibility of time travel.

I believe that it would be great, and horrible. Great because I could go back and see some of history’s greatest moments, and horrible because who would go back and change history?

If we did master time travel, we could only go back to where we had the technology to create the time machine itself. By that I mean, we couldn’t see the birth of the universe, because it would be billions of years before have the technology to power the machine to get home, unless it runs on something other than the fields we know of today. Of course, if we only discover them today, well….

If I had a time machine, I wouldn’t go back and assassinate Hitler, for the simple reason that it would alert history in an unknown way. Would the world be any better without his tyranny? Would someone else have the same idea? Who knows how the world would turn out? I would, however go back and spend some of my teen years watching TV shows with my Dad, and see Kirby Pucket hit that game winning home run to send the World Series into seven games, however… I wouldn’t go into the future, just because it seems like a good idea to let it unfold; short of like Christmas morning. No one wants to ruin that mystery, right?

I wouldn’t go back in time to stop any president from being elected, or assassinated, but I would go back and see the Kennedy assassination, just to end the damn debate! Maybe Roswell and that incident, just because I like ufos, and would love to fuss out if that was one, our if the conspiracy folks are right… Maybe make people think that my father and I are twins…probably not….

I would love to live a day I’m the sixties out the fifties, but only a day…I’ve grown accustomed to modern times.

Those are just a few ideas as to what I would do with a time machine and why we couldn’t have one in my lifetime. I would love to hear your ideas as well. Please feel free to comment and share. Thanks.

A few ideas to make baseball better

In Uncategorized on May 14, 2013 at 1:50 AM

As baseball enters the mid-point of the season, I was thinking of a few ways to make the sport even better…

The first way is to get a mulligan rule. Not for every day, but one time a year, and not in the playoffs, or the World Series, however.

The second way is to bring back the 500+ feet range from home plate to the center field wall. They used to have them, but for reasons I do not know, they got rid of them. They where cool in the baseball games, and I would love to see one like the old Polo Grounds, or Ebbits Field again.

Way number three is to bring back the fans in center field. This just having them from right field to left field is stupid. The home runs from center field are where the money is.

Another way to make baseball better is to stop “upgrading” or building new stadiums every twenty years. What was wrong with Yankee Stadium? The House that Ruth Built was just fine. This new one had to wait a few years before they even entered the post season… I get that Bud Selig wants all baseball to be played outdoors by 2020, but then you have to factor in your Minnesota and Toronto playing years have snow in them…lots of snow. With the Skydome and Meteodome, you could play all year if you wanted to, but I am happy that Target Field opened up and Minnesota is finally playing outdoors again! If the old Met Stadium was any indication, then we could see a few good things from the Twins…eventually…I hope.

Anyway, there are a few ideas that I have to make baseball even better. If you have any of your own, please feel free to add them in the comments and let me know. Thanks

How am I supposed to live without you?

In Sports on May 3, 2013 at 5:55 AM

Well folks, it’s that time again. The Stanley Cup Playoffs have started, which unless your team is in playing, you’ve already started cranking up the breakup songs, and grabbed your tissues, its time to start crying.

Fear not, fellow hockey fans! There are still good times ahead! The next season will start on time, no lockout! We still have YouTube clips and hickeyfights.com to keep us enthralled, not to mention we can still debate over who is better, Alexandr Ovechkin, or Sydney Crosby!

As anyone who knows me will tell you I am nuts for hockey! It is the perfect sport for Americans. What other sport allows you to fight? (Besides MMA) if you fight on the streets, you get sent to jail. If you fight on the ice, they send you to the penalty box. The rich fight for more money, and the poor suffer! Just Google NHL lockout if you don’t believe me….

The NHL has started mirroring other popular sports by adding their version of cheerleaders, only we call them “ice girls”. Granted, not all teams have them, but naturally, the LA Kings have beautiful women wearing short, skimpy outfits, not doing much for the sport other than givng the fans in the arena something nice to watch, when the fans at home have to watch the announcers talk about what you’ve just seen on TV. I don’t know about you, but I would take a good looking woman in skimpy clothes over Don Cherry’s suits anyday! Witch brings me to my next point. Both football and hockey have announcers that make you say “What the heck?” Football’s was John Madden, where hockey has Don Cherry. Both are great men for their sport, both have WTF moments. John Madden’s was just about anything he said, or drew on that screen of his. Don Cherry’s is his clothes. Seriously, who the hell tells him what to wear?
Both have memorable moments. Football’s memorable moments include the Hail Mary pass that, if they had instant replay, Minnesota would’ve had a touchdown…fuck you, Dallas! Hockey’s memorable moment is the 1980 “Miracle on Ice”. Baseball has its boring times, like games that have score until well into the game, just as hockey has. But I believe hockey has better “Did you see that?” Moments than baseball. Baseball has Barry Bonds breaking the home run record, albeit under scrutiny with illegal drugs. Hockey has Wayne Gretzkey. Football has Bart Starr, hockey has The Great One. Boxing has Ali, hickey has The Great One.
All sports have their rivalries, if they have a Boston and New York team. The Rangers and Bruins in the NHL, the Yankees and Red Sox in MLB, and the Pats and the Jets/Giants in the NFL.
Every sport has nice looking trophies, but let face it, none are older, nor better looking than Lord Stanley’s Cup. What other trophy can double as a cerial bowl? Try eating a bowl of Fruit Loops out of the World Series trophy! The Lombardi trophy? Looks nice on a mantle, or in evidence when you bludgeon someone with it, but can you leave it on the sside of the road in Montreal and go back an hour late to get it? Probably…I don’t think the folks in Montreal would care, but it being Canada, they might try to return it for you… What other trophy grows every year, or gets returned to the league every summer? Just one…The Cup!

I believe that hockey would become more popular in America if the owners and players (and Gary Bettman) didn’t decide to argue over money every time there is a new agreement to be had….. Football only had one, but it was settled before any games where played. Baseball had two, but they got settled, however fans of baseball did not come back in droves after the second strike like the NHL fans did. I believe that if there is a third lockout in six years, that the hockey fans will say “fuck this, I’m out!” The Americans will, anyhow, the Canadian and Europeans couldn’t care any less, as they can switch channels and find….more hockey. We can’t. We change channels and get ESPN showing nine hours of poker…when I think of the “worldwide leader in SPORTS, poker is not on the list. (ESPN started showing poker during the 1994 lockout, and they never bought the rights again; this year NBC did, and had great ratings for their games…and the lockout had Mike Emrick calling figure skating…. OK, I need to go to my happy place….)
If hockey gets its act together, they could challenge baseball for second tier sport in America; football is showing signs of weakness in dominance with their ever changing rules. It is a matter of time before the National Football League becomes the National Flag Football League. When that happens, hockey will be there to claim top spot…I hope!

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