How am I supposed to live without you?

In Sports on May 3, 2013 at 5:55 AM

Well folks, it’s that time again. The Stanley Cup Playoffs have started, which unless your team is in playing, you’ve already started cranking up the breakup songs, and grabbed your tissues, its time to start crying.

Fear not, fellow hockey fans! There are still good times ahead! The next season will start on time, no lockout! We still have YouTube clips and hickeyfights.com to keep us enthralled, not to mention we can still debate over who is better, Alexandr Ovechkin, or Sydney Crosby!

As anyone who knows me will tell you I am nuts for hockey! It is the perfect sport for Americans. What other sport allows you to fight? (Besides MMA) if you fight on the streets, you get sent to jail. If you fight on the ice, they send you to the penalty box. The rich fight for more money, and the poor suffer! Just Google NHL lockout if you don’t believe me….

The NHL has started mirroring other popular sports by adding their version of cheerleaders, only we call them “ice girls”. Granted, not all teams have them, but naturally, the LA Kings have beautiful women wearing short, skimpy outfits, not doing much for the sport other than givng the fans in the arena something nice to watch, when the fans at home have to watch the announcers talk about what you’ve just seen on TV. I don’t know about you, but I would take a good looking woman in skimpy clothes over Don Cherry’s suits anyday! Witch brings me to my next point. Both football and hockey have announcers that make you say “What the heck?” Football’s was John Madden, where hockey has Don Cherry. Both are great men for their sport, both have WTF moments. John Madden’s was just about anything he said, or drew on that screen of his. Don Cherry’s is his clothes. Seriously, who the hell tells him what to wear?
Both have memorable moments. Football’s memorable moments include the Hail Mary pass that, if they had instant replay, Minnesota would’ve had a touchdown…fuck you, Dallas! Hockey’s memorable moment is the 1980 “Miracle on Ice”. Baseball has its boring times, like games that have score until well into the game, just as hockey has. But I believe hockey has better “Did you see that?” Moments than baseball. Baseball has Barry Bonds breaking the home run record, albeit under scrutiny with illegal drugs. Hockey has Wayne Gretzkey. Football has Bart Starr, hockey has The Great One. Boxing has Ali, hickey has The Great One.
All sports have their rivalries, if they have a Boston and New York team. The Rangers and Bruins in the NHL, the Yankees and Red Sox in MLB, and the Pats and the Jets/Giants in the NFL.
Every sport has nice looking trophies, but let face it, none are older, nor better looking than Lord Stanley’s Cup. What other trophy can double as a cerial bowl? Try eating a bowl of Fruit Loops out of the World Series trophy! The Lombardi trophy? Looks nice on a mantle, or in evidence when you bludgeon someone with it, but can you leave it on the sside of the road in Montreal and go back an hour late to get it? Probably…I don’t think the folks in Montreal would care, but it being Canada, they might try to return it for you… What other trophy grows every year, or gets returned to the league every summer? Just one…The Cup!

I believe that hockey would become more popular in America if the owners and players (and Gary Bettman) didn’t decide to argue over money every time there is a new agreement to be had….. Football only had one, but it was settled before any games where played. Baseball had two, but they got settled, however fans of baseball did not come back in droves after the second strike like the NHL fans did. I believe that if there is a third lockout in six years, that the hockey fans will say “fuck this, I’m out!” The Americans will, anyhow, the Canadian and Europeans couldn’t care any less, as they can switch channels and find….more hockey. We can’t. We change channels and get ESPN showing nine hours of poker…when I think of the “worldwide leader in SPORTS, poker is not on the list. (ESPN started showing poker during the 1994 lockout, and they never bought the rights again; this year NBC did, and had great ratings for their games…and the lockout had Mike Emrick calling figure skating…. OK, I need to go to my happy place….)
If hockey gets its act together, they could challenge baseball for second tier sport in America; football is showing signs of weakness in dominance with their ever changing rules. It is a matter of time before the National Football League becomes the National Flag Football League. When that happens, hockey will be there to claim top spot…I hope!


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