Reasons why I could never run for public office…..

In possibility on November 2, 2013 at 12:56 AM

As I age, I grow. Not mature, but rather grow a new mindset. Things I once thought to be  “idiotic” or foolish, I now see myself thinking second on. Take for instance my previous blog concerning gay marriage. When I was younger, I was dead set against it. I even found myself saying “if we let queers marry each other, then we might as well pass a law letting them fucking marry a goat!” I have since changed my opinion. Now, I couldn’t care any less if two men or two women want to marry one another. Hell, if two heterosexual people can marry, divorce and not raise their children, then fuck it, the gays and lesbians can too!

Now for two (or more) reasons I cannot run for public office. Reason one…I would legalize prostitutes. Think about it, selling is legal, so is coitus. Why not put the two together? Hell, the bible says its the oldest profession, right? However, there are a few strings attached. Like A, it would ONLY be legal in a brothel where the girls have protection, both sexual and physical, and not on the streets. You sell your disgusting ass on the corner, get locked up. In a brothel, you try to rape a girl, you get the shut beaten out of you, which you deserve. On the streets, you get raped, and you’re screwed…in more ways than one. You can’t go to the police, because you can’t admit to whoring yourself out, else you face arresting yourself. In a brothel, they have weekly and monthly screenings and protection that is mandated, not to mention no fluid-to-fluid contact so, both parties are safe.

The rules would be the same, with the women deciding on what and whom they wanted to spend their time on. If you pay for an hour, but finish in ten, oh, well no refunds. The woman doesn’t want you to use toys up her ass, then find one who does. I would put the brothels in a part of town that no kid walking by with their mama would have to see, and we would use tasteful advertising, not that garbage you see on the internet with half or 3/4 naked women advertising a good time. Of course some of the women would have kids, and they would be taken care of…in a daycare center onsite but away from the girls and their work. The madams would be certified in all manner of health training, and they would have doctors onsite to treat any and all problems. The brothels would have weekly and monthly screenings for AIDS and other STDs, just like the Nevada brothels have. However, this being California, if you wanted to smoke afterward, you would have to go to a designated smoking area, and cannot smoke inside the rooms.

The next reason that I could never be a politician is because I would legalize marijuana. Now before you go cheering it, let me explain why. I would let it be smoked anywhere in town, like Washington and Colorado. No, you would be confined to one neighbourhood, gated with signs up proclaiming something to the effect “WARNING! MARIJUANA SMOKED HERE! IF YOU DON’T WANT, OR LIKE IT, THEN DO NOT ENTER! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!” The reason for this warning sign is because a growing number of people are allergic to the smell, and the particles of pot smoking. My aunt for one is counted amongst that number. I would also have food delivered to that gated neighbourhood simply because I don’t want a bunch of stoned fucktards driving around my streets trying to get to point B, and end up killing some poor kid. Also, if you work, which many of them don’t, you would be barred from any job requiring you to operate heavy machinery, nor could you work directly with the public. I.E. bus driver, pilot, police officer……..also, on your smoke breaks, it would kept to a legal, tobacco filled cigarette, because as I said earlier, you’re not in your pot neighbourhood. This, naturally would come with its detractors, citing freedoms and civil rights and all that other mother jazz, but, hey…no one said you’ve got to live in, or around these neighborhoods! I would also create a smoker’s area for smokers of regular tobacco, but that’s another blog for another day…..

Both of these ideas are just that, ideas. I would have better luck with the pot thing, given the re sent political climate than I would with prostitution, even though it, too used to be legal until the church stopped it some hundreds of years ago…even if one of their main characters was, herself, a whore…..whatever, that makes no since to me… Pot, used to be legal, as well, until they stopped it. Someone told me that William Randolph Hearst ran a smear campaign because his magazines needed paper from trees, but I think they where quoting Family Guy… Anyhow, hemp, the plant can be used for many other things besides smoking and getting high. The hemp fibers can be used to make rope, clothing, and even (so hippies at work tell me) medicine. I get that they give it to cancer patients to ease their terrible pain and suffering, but I’m not sold on the whole eating it thing….just saying. I for one would never use marijuana, but whatever, I’m not here to judge you, or your lifestyle, just here to spread my opinion…

Nor would I use a prostitute, as I believe that sex should be shared with someone whom you love…but, once again…judge..live… However, the pot and whores thing, above all else, helps the economy. Think about it, whores need money too. That money goes to buy houses, food, cars…no, they wouldn’t live at the brothel…could you imagine taking your date there after a night out? I would, however support the working girls more than I would the pot, as I still believe recreational pot smokers are hippies, and hippies are deadbeat, lazy scumbags who suckle off the teat of society, all the while complaining about “the man” taking all from everyone…..sorry, this has taken an odd turn…

what are your thoughts on the issue? Would you vote for me, or even donate to the campaign that would never exist? Let me know in the comments section, please, and thank you!

  1. I would legalize prostitution, too. But then, I’m a felon, so I’d obviously never run, lol. Also, random fact — and I’m full of them — although the Bible references prostitution, Rudyard Kipling was the first to refer to it as the world’s oldest profession. There’s a good chance that he’s right, because prostitution may have predated man, as prostitutional behaviors have been observed in certain animals. Adelie penguins, for instance, have been observed trading nesting stones for sex.

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