Happy New Year?

As we all know, one week after the biggest holiday of the year comes another holiday. My question is why do we celebrate it?

I’m talking, of course of New Years. Its a stupid holiday, simply because nothing changes. We will still have our massive debts, our shitty jobs, our horrible cars; the only thing that actually changes is the callendar. If we celebrated every time that happened, we’d have a party every day. If our debt was wiped away, then maybe I could see celebrating, but it doesn’t.

When I was a kid, it was a treat to stay up and watch the celebrations on tv, have some cider and ring in the new year, now however, it’s asinine. The only people who celebrate are the people who where told that they would die the previous year. If you survived cancer, celebrate, otherwise, its an excuse that drunkards have to imbibe.

My siblings plan on going out that day. Face the drunks on new years if you wish. I, however will stay safely in my home watching television and reading

Independence Day

It is the morning of Independence Day 2013…at least in America. The fireworks stands will be seeing a last minute surge to sell off their inventory, BBQs will be fired up. Kids will, sadly, be injured by fireworks, both legal and illegal. As for me, I will be keeping up the tradition of watching Rod Serling’s The Twilight Zone marathon on SyFy; it’s something that my father and I started several years ago, as neither of us cared to watch the fireworks going off on our neighbourhood. “Why pay to see em, when we have PBS for free?” He’d say. One of our favourite episodes was the one featuring Bergess Meridith (Mickey from the Rocky movies to you youngn’s) as a bank teller who just wants to read all the time. Substitute a bank teller, and you’ve got my father…

One tradition we used to have is a big box of fireworks when I was a kid, but as I grew more…prudish, I guess you could say, I stopped wanting to light them off. I’d see the neighbours with them, I’d watch from my porch, and just think…why? I still enjoy and celebrate the birth of my nation, I just don’t see the need to light off coloured particles and gunpowder to do so. When my nephew was living here, we had a little bit; he was overjoyed to see the “pretty colours” go off, but I kept saying to myself ‘it is a waste of money’ yet, I’d light a sparkler and hand it to him; watch as he free something in the sidewalk, stand back and we’d light another, bigger one.

Once, my uncle bought a huge box for us and us kids all enjoyed it. My cousin burned his hand on one, but we still enjoyed them. The only downside was the “Big Bang” labeled firework was a massive dud. My uncle was livid because that one was a costly lot, but we enjoyed that show and the post firework BBQ.

I remember the only Forth on July I had in Utah. We had a severe fire warning because southern Utah is dry, desert landscape. The college light them off and we watched from the road. Sidenote: that town looked for any excuse to light fireworks… Anyway, no onegot hurt, and we enjoyed the show.

Of course, you have nimrods who buy the illegals and set someones house on fire, and then get a severe penalty for it. That us what I take umbrage with. Why do they have to light off illegal fireworks? The ones sold with the safe and sane label are just fine. If you want to set fire to a house, do it to yours. The firefighters and police have enough to worry about without having to come out in the heat to douse the charred remnants of someones life, just because you want to see a bottle rocket explode.

And then there are the jack-wagons who feel “hell, guns make a boom, lets fire them off!” It gives us sane, peacefully enjoying folk a bad time. I throw up a little every time I hear some jackass decided to fire his gun when he ran out of fireworks and now some sad parent will never see little Johnny or Sally again. Why can’t we be happy with the legal ones? Hell, go to a ggun range or in the desert somewhere and fire off your pistols, somewhere where no one will be hurt by your lack of basic knowledge!

Well, folks, enjoy your day, your BBQ, your LEGAL fireworks display, and try to be safe and above all, sane this holiday. Thank you